Day 3 – May 9, 2012

Today I woke up and sat with the other guys in blue in the day room. I met a man in orange (a fed) named John Davis. I had a good chat with him about his victimization by state agents for modifying a shot gun without state permission. It was my first time in the open-air area. It’s a tiny hallway with a camera and a window with a grate. I’d love to come here and take pictures to show how inadequate it is. I’m looking forward to seeing Beau today. I know it’s selfish of me to wish for his company in here, but I really like Beau and I feel like he’ll help me get by when days go by slowly.

In many ways this is sort of opposite world for me. Naturally, in freedom, I like to wake up late, shower often, get to work doing something rewarding and exciting, hope that time goes by slowly so that I can enjoy life more, and fight sleep to stay awake and learn something new, play, and/or keep working. Here, I wake up early, eat, try to make the day pass quickly, hope to write or do something productive, and then go to sleep as early as I can. The goal of this stay, for me at this time, is to get it over with as soon as possible rather than enjoy every step along the journey. Perhaps I should focus more on enjoying my time here and making it productive by setting new goals. Some goals may include: re-writing the lyrics of songs to have a liberty message, write about the stories of victimization by the state of my new inmate friends and neighbors. I could also just exercise my imagination. I do look forward to dreaming if I am able, I may try to nap now…. That was a success. Now I’ve eaten lunch, played Solitaire, talked with Mr.Trombli about FreeKeene.com, and now it’s 2 PM and I have 73 days left. I still don’t know what my release date is. I hope my days here are reduced. I can have a positive attitude, but I know that being here would never be my preference.

Gosh I’m bored. The only thing I can think to do is write stream of consciousness style. I wish that I could call and talk to Nicholas Shanklin. I miss him a lot right now. I know he would give me a big hug if he could, but I am trapped here in this jail – how absurd! Some people in front of me are playing chess. Perhaps I should think about writing a blog post for FK or LFOD.com. It has been tough for me to think in here for some reason. I think the lack of outside light and air might have something to do with it, but it happens in here every time. I feel neutered or stupid. Perhaps it is best to keep my mind and boy distracted…

This paper is provided by John Davis, the Federal Inmate. John is plea-ing for 20-46 months rather than risk going to trial and risking 10 years. I think if he were straight with the jury and pointed out that there were no victims, he would be let free, but it’s a big gamble and it’s his ass on the line. Another friendly man here, Michael, is here because a neighbor alleged that he pointed a gun at him, and when the police came to Michael’s house, he had been drinking alcohol, a violation of his bail. As of yet, I haven’t met a single inmate who has created a victim. 2 of the people here are serving 12 months for driving without a license.

Seeing the number of victims created by the state in the name of protecting the public is absurd. The State creates more victims than any other organization I know, and it just seems like freedom is freaking illegal everywhere you turn.
They house Federal Inmates here, a questionable practice. They give people “good time” for working but do not pay them or give them days off. In 3.5 weeks of working my roommate Joe only got one day off.

Joe said his probation officer was rarely at his office in Manchester but has twice showed up at his house. One of those times, Joe was “underage drinking” (at age 19 or 20) when the P.O. walked into his house and car and found a stem and a bowl. He feels like he is being age profiled like racial profiling.

I’m doing my best to kill time, but I will have to improve. I was doing the types of things one does in a doctor’s office while waiting for an appointment (looking around, biting my cheek, picking at my fingernails etc.) Whoops! Now it’s 2:30 and they call “Head Count!” and everyone must go and lock themselves in their cells while the guards count us. There are only like 5 R-Block inmates here not including myself, so it seems really silly. We will be locked in here until 5 PM, dinner time. My pencil will probably go dull by then. I look forward to being able to have a pen. I am grateful to have a book even if it is a crappy King Arthur story. I keep running to the cell door whenever I hear another door slam because I think it might be Beau. I miss him. He’s so wonderful and brilliant.

I just played 8 games of Solitaire to completion when the mail came in. I received the letter I wrote myself before coming in. I think Renee sent it for me. I’m so glad she did. I’ll try calling some numbers, especially Nicholas, right away. Since I only get one minute complementary collect call per number, I’ll wait on the others.

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